"The meaning of our lives is shaped not by our past, but by the meaning we give it." On March 19th, the Irvine Book Club invited attorney Shinning Liang to introduce “The Courage to Be Disliked”.
Drawing from her own experiences, Shinning shared key ideas from Adlerian psychology, encouraging everyone to face challenges, live in the present, release the past, and embrace the future.
Shinning began by mentioning that everyone knows Freud, Jung, and Adler as the three giants in psychology. She expressed deep admiration for Adler’s Individual Psychology.
In real life, no single psychological theory can be fully applied to every person, but if we can find a balance in these theories and integrate them into our lives, we can achieve happiness.
Shinning explained that “The Courage to Be Disliked” is a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher, unfolding over five nights of dialectical thinking.
The philosopher presents Adler’s "Courage Psychology," while the young man serves as the "voice" of the readers, asking the questions that everyone has in mind.
She chose this book to share Adler's "Courage Psychology" and encourage reflection: Do we have the courage to be disliked? Can we let go of seeking approval and live authentically, pursuing our own freedom and happiness?
The book focuses on four key ideas: responsibility and choice, interpersonal relationships, courage and self-acceptance, and the goal of life.
These concepts are not rigid rules but philosophical guidelines that each person can interpret and practice based on their own circumstances.
The key idea is "the courage to be disliked." Shinning highlighted that true freedom comes from not being swayed by others’ judgments, embracing being ourselves, and not letting others' expectations control our path.
Shinning shared that after over 30 years in the legal profession, she had developed a fixed mindset. Although she had studied social psychology in college, her understanding of psychology was limited.
Reading “The Courage to Be Disliked” deeply impressed her. The book made her reflect on life's true meaning—life doesn’t need to be over planned, but should be lived moment by moment.
As Adler said, living in the present, without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, makes life richer and freer.
A friend asked how “The Courage to Be Disliked ”differs from other self-help books. Shinning explained that psychology is a rigorous science, with ideas backed by evidence, research, and peer reviews.
The book offers true life insights. By choosing and applying the right philosophy, we can transform our lives and find happiness.
At the end of the discussion, Shinning shared that March is her busiest month, with tax deadlines and contract renewals. Feeling drained, she recalled Adler’s advice to live in the present.
This helped her find the strength to move forward. She’s grateful for Adler and the book’s inspiration.
Irvine Book Club president, Laura, thanked Attorney Liang for the excellent session. Since last August, the club has held 19 sessions, with each presenter showing great dedication, which has brought happiness to her and all members.
Book Profile :
The Courage to Be Disliked: The Teachings of Alfred Adler is a philosophical book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.
It explores finding true freedom and happiness through Adlerian psychology. Published in Japan in 2013, it has sold over 12 million copies worldwide.
Presented as a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher, the book encourages embracing Adler's ideas—being true to oneself and not seeking approval from others—resonating deeply with readers due to its practical and insightful nature.